Guilt Trip Mommy Business Travel

Writen by Teresa Kolvek

As a working mom, I am the queen of guilt. Every morning I drop off my little girl at the day care center, where there is a caring staff she has really bonded with. She seems happy enough most days. She will reach for the teacher as soon as she sees her, and contentedly watch as I say my "Goodbye, baby, I love you!" and walk out the door. I keep my voice cheerful and my demeanor upbeat, but my heart always sinks into my shoes as the door shuts and I start on my way to work.

Some days it's worse. The regular teacher occasionally isn't there, and even though my daughter knows the others - in fact sees them every day - she clings to me, digging in with her knees and grabbing with her hands. I pry her off and hand her over, struggling to keep a smile on my face as she cries and screams, "Mommy, Mommy." Oh, it's tough. Worse, though, are business trips. I don't have to travel very often, thank goodness, but when I do the guilt meter goes off the chart. I'll call my husband to check in, and I'll hear her in the background, talking and playing, and I just want to cry. I want to talk to her on the phone, but she isn't quite old enough yet to understand the concept and would only be upset. Then I will hear reports back, like when my husband told me she woke in the middle of the night, screaming for Mommy. Apparently she was inconsolable, crying and refusing to calm down for Daddy.

I have to keep my job right now, since I'm the primary breadwinner in the household. So, we have to make the best of this. But how?

One thing that seems to help is talking with other working moms. When I'm at an out-of-town meeting, there are usually at least one or two other women there who can relate to my situation. We tell stories about what our kids are doing, share photos, and trade advice. Sometimes just talking it out with someone who understands can really help to ease your mind.

Another thing I'm doing is working with my employer to minimize the overnight trips I'm required to take. I'll offer alternative suggestions, such as conference calls, videoconferencing, or meetings online. I keep trips as short as possible, and get direct flights whenever I can to lessen travel time. Sometimes it's an option to combine separate trips into one: fly in, drive or fly to the second destination, and fly out. I'll also consider bringing the family along, if the location is desirable, and turn the business trip into a vacation.

I just got back from a four-day meeting, and when I saw my daughter for the first time upon returning home, she looked different to me; changed somehow. Her hair seemed longer, which I know is impossible, and she had learned a number of new words. It was only four days, but I feel like I've missed so much!

While a working mom's guilt is seemingly never-ending (well, mine anyway), there are a few things that can ease the pain a bit. And it's all forgotten the moment I see my bunny rabbit smile and throw herself into my arms.

Teresa Kolvek and her husband, Tony, are the proud parents of a beautiful and spirited toddler named Amelia. Visit Teresa's website at toddlerdish.com for great information, tips, and recipes for toddlers.